从自我蒙蔽到自我洞察
《真相与错觉》从自我蒙蔽到自我洞察,页面无弹窗的全文阅读!
在为写作本书调研期间，我有幸采访到艾伦·穆拉利，他是福特公司的前首席执行官，打造了史上最成功的公司转型案例之一，他也是我心目中的英雄。采访刚开始，我便直接发问：为什么会接受我的采访？因为他每周会有几十个采访。彼时，我们正在亚利桑那州小城斯科茨代尔一个阳光充足的庭院中喝咖啡。听到我的问题，他笑着回答道：“因为没人写过这样的书，而这本书恰好有写出来的必要。回顾我的职业生涯和生命旅程，我发现一个至关重要的真理：想要有所改进，你最大的机会就是要有意识，不管在职场中、家中，还是在生活中。”
我已经说得很清楚了。尽管管理思想家和企业家都对自我意识大加赞扬，但几乎没有人（即使有，也少之又少）系统地尝试以一种科学的方法检验自我意识从何而来，人们又如何拥有更强的自我意识。因此，我这项研究的核心目的，便是帮助人们增强自我意识，取得成功。一路走来，我有了不少令人震惊的发现，这些发现都是对传统智慧的挑战。我了解到，那些人们以为能够提升自我意识的方法（即使不是绝大多数，也是大量的），其实际效果往往适得其反。接下来，你会发现这些令人惊讶的谬见，还会了解到要成为一个拥有自我意识的人到底需要具备哪些条件。
本书旨在帮助那些渴望实现从自我蒙蔽到提升自我洞察力的人，让他们有所收获，做出更明智的选择，拥有更稳固的关系，过上更美好的生活。我的目的就是让人们少走弯路，提供提高自我认知水平的方法，展示如何在日渐冷漠的世界中生存与发展。
你会在本书第一部分了解到自我意识的构建因素和阻碍因素。在第一章中，我会从洞察力的七大支柱开始谈起，将有意识和无意识区分开来。一旦你明白了有意识的真正含义，便能着手处理这些障碍，学会如何突破障碍。第二章会帮助你审视自己内心的障碍，这些障碍不但束缚了自我意识的发展，也让你盲目自信，认为自己已经拥有了自我意识。在第三章中，我会谈及对洞察力而言最大的社会阻碍——自我崇拜。不管你是否知道它，这一执念一直在极力引诱你和你认识的每个人，让你们变得越来越固执己见，越来越缺乏自知之明。
本书第二部分会重点介绍内在自我意识。在第四章中，我会颠覆许多关于如何提升自我意识的谬论和愚蠢想法。你会明白，为什么自我反省并不总能带来真知灼见，那些追求自身绝对真理的人怎么会成为最不可能发现真理的人，为什么像心理治疗和写日记这种常见的提升自我意识的方法会暗藏陷阱。第五章会告知你什么方法会使自我意识得到提升，并且提供一些切实可行的举措。
本书第三部分将会直击与外在自我意识相关的惊人谬论与真相，告诉你为什么单凭一己之力无法发现这些谎言和真相。你会发现，即使你知道别人是如何看待你的，你仍会经常犯错。第六章将会揭露人们对外在自我意识最大的误解。在商界中，人们对“口头反馈”可以说耳熟能详，但关于哪些地方做得很好、哪些地方需要改进，还是很难得到公正客观的数据。我会有针对性地提供几种方法，打破从职场到家庭的各种障碍。最后，在第七章中，你会学到如何在不起争执或不当场走人的情况下听到反馈，也会了解到如何采取行动做出改进，同时又能坚持自我。
本书第四部分会从更广阔的视角讨论问题。第八章会审视杰出的领导是怎样在其团队和组织中培养自我意识的。你会明白，为什么一味强迫团队成员坦诚相待会是代价惊人的错误做法——如果没有事先准备好自我意识的构建因素，你的努力便会事与愿违，只会带来更少的真知灼见和更多的沉默。在本章最后，我会为你的团队提供一个循序渐进的方法（我已用了10年多了），以一种安全直接而又卓有成效的方式促进交流反馈。
第九章有个看似宏大但着实重要的目标，那就是帮助你在妄想日益严重的世界中生存和发展。同人们谈及我的研究时，他们经常会问：“您能告诉我如何应对某个充满妄想的人吗？”当然，我们不能强求别人都有自知之明，但没想到有些方法居然可以减少缺乏自知之明的人的消极影响。在一些案例中，甚至可以减轻人们的妄想程度。在本书最后部分，我会介绍“7天洞察力挑战”活动，这是一个实用且久经检验的方法，可以帮助你在自我意识旅程中迅速取得成效。
基本上，世人可以分为两种：一种是认为自己有自我意识的；一种是真正拥有自我意识的。我有一个大胆的构想，就是打造一个充满拥有自我意识的人的世界。诚然，通往自我意识的障碍数不胜数，但在外界评价和几个有用的方法的帮助下，突破障碍并不是没有可能。一旦做到了这一点，你就为自信和成功奠定了一个全新的基础。毕竟，没有深刻的洞察力，我们该如何开辟一条通往愉悦和幸福的道路呢？该如何建立一段深入持久的关系呢？该如何实现我们的真正目的呢？我希望本书能敲响强有力的警钟，提醒我们自己三个简单的事实：第一，自我意识是美好人生的基础；第二，完成提升自我意识之旅，是有可能实现的；第三，为抵达自我意识的终点所付出的勇气和努力，是值得的。
[1] 1英里=1 609.344米。——编者注
[2] “I heard the bullets whistle”:George Washington. Letter to John A.Washington. May 31, 1754. MS. N.p.
[3] “I shall not fear the attack”:George Washington. Letter to Robert Dinwiddie. June 3, 1754. MS. N.p.
[4] “advancing when he should”:Ron Chernow. Washington: A Life. Penguin, 2010, p. 49.
[5] “Any ape can reach”:Vilayanur S. Ramachandran. The Tell- Tale Brain:A Neuroscientist’s Quest for What Makes Us Human. W. W. Norton &Company, 2012, p. 4.
[6] Some have even argued:Mark R. Leary and Nicole R. Buttermore. “The evolution of the human self: Tracing the natural history of self-awareness.”Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour33.4 (2003): 365– 404.
[7] it came with a survival:Donna Hart and Robert W. Sussman. Manthe Hunted: Primates, Predators, and Human Evolution.Basic Books,2005, pp. 159– 164.
[8] people who know themselves:This finding comes from our self awareness research program.
[9] They make smarter decisions:D. Scott Ridley, et al. “Self- regulated learning: The interactive influence of metacognitive awareness an d goal- setting.”Journal of Experimental Education60.4 (1992): 293– 306;Saundra H. Glover, et al. “Re- examining the influence of individual vaues on ethical decision making.”From the Universities to the Marketplace:The Business Ethics Journey. Springer Netherlands, 1997. 109– 119.
[10] They have better personal:Stephen L. Franzoi, Mark H. Davis, and Richard D. Young. “The effects of private self- consciousness and perspective taking on satisfaction in close relationships.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 48.6 (1985): 1584–1594.
[11] and professional relationships: Clive Fletcher and Caroline Bailey. “Assessing self- awareness: Some issues and methods.” Journal of Managerial Psychology 18.5 (2003): 395– 404; John J. Sosik and Lara E. Megerian. “Understanding leader emotional intelligence and performance: The role of self- other agreement on transformational leadership perceptions.” Group & Organization Management 24.3 (1999): 367– 390.
[12] They raise more mature children: Heather K. Warren and Cynthia A. Stifter. “Maternal emotion-related socialization and preschoolers’ developing emotion self-awareness.” Social Development 17.2 (2008): 239– 258.
[13] They’re smarter: Vladimir D. Shadrikov. “The role of reflection and reflexivity
[14] choose better careers: Chris Brown, Roberta George- Curran, and Marian L. Smith. “The role of emotional intelligence in the career commitment and decision- making process.” Journal of Career Assessment 11.4 (2003): 379– 392; Romila Singh and Jeffrey H. Greenhaus. “The relation between career decision- making strategies and person- job fit: A study of job changers.” Journal of Vocational Behavior 64.1 (2004): 198– 221.
[15] more creative: See Paul J. Silvia and Maureen E. O’Brien. “Self- awareness and constructive functioning: Revisiting ‘the human dilemma.’” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 23.4 (2004): 475, 480– 481.
[16] more confident: Anna Sutton, Helen M. Williams, and Christopher W. Allinson. “A longitudinal, mixed method evaluation of self- awareness training in the workplace.” European Journal of Training and Development 39.7 (2015): 610– 627.
[17] better communicators:Ibid.
[18] less aggressive: Peter Fischer, Tobias Greitemeyer, and Dieter Frey. “Unemployment and aggression: The moderating role of self-awareness on the effect of unemployment on aggression.” Aggressive Behavior 34.1 (2008): 34– 45.
[19] less likely to lie: See Paul J. Silvia and Maureen E. O’Brien. “Selfawareness and constructive functioning: Revisiting ‘the human dilemma.’” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 23.4 (2004): 475, 479– 480.
[20] better performers at work: Allan H. Church, “Managerial self- awareness in high- performing individuals in organizations.” Journal of Applied Psychology 82.2 (1997): 281–292.
[21] get more promotions: Bernard M. Bass and Francis J. Yammarino. “Congruence of self and others’ leadership ratings of naval officers for understanding successful performance.” Applied Psychology 40.4 (1991): 437– 454.
[22] more effective leaders: Bass and Yammarino, “Congruence of self and others’ leadership ratings”; Malcolm Higgs and Deborah Rowland. “Emperors with clothes on: The role of self- awareness in developing effective change leadership.” Journal of Change Management 10.4 (2010): 369– 385.
[23] more enthusiastic employees: Kenneth N. Wexley, et al. “Attitudinal congruence and similarity as related to interpersonal evaluations in manager- subordinate dyads.” Academy of Management Journal 23.2 (1980): 320– 330.
[24] lead more profitable: Atuma Okpara, et al. “Self awareness and organizational performance in the Nigerian banking sector.” European Journal of Research and Reflection in Management Sciences 3.1 (2015); Harry Schrage. “The R&D entrepreneur: Profile of success.” Harvard Business Review, November– December, 1965, 56– 69; Korn Ferry Institute. “Korn Ferry Institute study shows link between self- awareness and company financial performance,” kornferry, June 15, 2015, http://kornferry/ press/korn- ferry- institute- study- shows- link- between- self- awareness- andcompany- financial- performance/.
[25] 600 percent more likely: PDI Ninth House. “Accurate self- insight decreases derailment risk,” Leadership Research Bulletin, January 24, 2013,http://kornferry/institute/565- accurate- self- insight- decreasesderailment- risk.
[26] a staggering $50 million: J. Evelyn Orr, Victoria V. Swisher, King Y. Tang, and Kenneth De Meuse. “Illuminating blind spots and hidden strengths,” kornferry, September 2010, http://kornferry/ media/lominger_pdf/Insights_Illuminating_Blind_Spots_and_Hidden_ Strengths.pdf.
[27] trouble figuring out: University of Phoenix School of Business. “Nearly three- fourths of US workers in their 30s want a career change,” University of Phoenix News release, July 29, 2015, http://phoenix.edu/ news/releases/2015/07/uopx- survey- reveals- three- fourths- us- workers- intheir- thirties- want- career- change.html; http://bls.gov/news.release/ pdf/nlsoy.pdf.
[28] 我时常被问及，自我意识和情商有什么关系。简单来讲，情商是关于人类对自身及他人情感的意识和管理，而自我意识含义更广：它包含了人类具有的情感之外的内在特质——自我的价值、热情、渴望、契合、榜样、反应及对他人的影响，和他人是如何看待我们的。
[29] “are often flawed”: David Dunning, Chip Heath, and Jerry M. Suls. “Flawed self- assessment implications for health, education, and the workplace.” Psychological Science in the Public Interest 5.3 (2004): 69– 106.
[30] “more than most, Washington’s biography”: W. W. Abbot, “An Uncommon Awareness of Self,” Prologue: Quarterly Journal of the National Archives and Records Administration 29 (1989): 7– 19; repr. in George Washington Reconsidered, ed. Don Higginbotham (University Press of Virginia: 2001).
[31] Washington 2.0 reveled: Chernow, p. 603.
[32] “I can bear to hear”:Ibid., p. 603.
[33] “studied every side”:Ibid., p. 521.
[34] “consult[ing] with our means”:Ibid., p. 378.
[35] “While I realize the arduous nature”:Ibid., p. 560.
[36] After surveying thousands:If you’re wondering whether a sample of 50 people is enough to glean meaningful conclusions about self- awareness, it may be important to point out the difference between quantitative and qualitative research. Though much of our research was quantitative — that is, giving people numeric surveys — our examination of our selfawareness unicorns was qualitative in nature. Qualitative research delves deeper into each participant — in our case, with extensive interviews — in order to look for themes and patterns. And for a qualitative study, 50 is actually a pretty high number, especially considering that the unicorns were so difficult to find!
[37] nearly 30 million Nigerians:“INEC Officially Announces Buhari as Winner of Presidential Race,”pulse.ng, April 1, 2015, http://pulse.ng/politics/nigeria-elections-2015-inec-officially-announces-buhari-as-winner-of-presidential-race-id3619743.html.
第一部分
构建因素和阻碍因素